Posted 12:45 AM by RedSox
The Experiment Continues...

On Bustinoutloud I posted an update tonight. Head on over and check it out.

Until next time

Posted 1:49 AM by RedSox
The Experiment has moved...

Well sorta.

As some of you may be aware, I have written some pieces for my friend Ginger's site, www.ephemeron.net. Well the post below on the word retarded was one of those posts. One of the nice things about writing for Ginger's site is that she has things set up so her readers can leave comments. Well one of te comments I received on this post touched me very deeply. It was from lady named Nancy. And Nancy had a child with special needs. As it turns out Nancy has her own domain and has offered to host me on it. Her domain offers me the abilty to also have comments and she has created a photo gallery for me to post my pictures froom my new digital camera. So I have accepted. The majority of my blogging will be done there now. I still plan ot write occasional pieces for Ginger's site as well. I hope you you will come over to bustinoutloud.inmybook.net and check out my new home.

I don't plan on getting rid of this spot. And, who knows, occasionally I may write some things here.

See you there...

Posted 9:40 PM by RedSox
The Experiment Continues...

I posted this on Ginger's site a couple of weeks ago but thought I'd like to have it posted here too.

RETARDED

SYLLABICATION: re·tard·ed

ADJECTIVE: 1. Often Offensive Affected with mental retardation
2. Occurring or developing later than desired or expected; delayed.

Source : American Heritage® Dictionary

I overheard a conversation this weekend and it featured a very bad word to me.

Retarded. I can’t stand that word. I am dismayed that is has shown up in our slang once again. I have been hearing it a lot lately. It makes me cringe. The definition above from American Heritage labels it right off as Often Offensive and to me it is highly offensive.

I don’t pretend to think that everyone will suddenly stop calling things “retarded” after reading this. And yes, I will continue to cringe when I hear it. But maybe when searching for and adjective to describe a thing, person, or situation, if one person bypasses this one I will be happy.

It bothers me to hear the word retarded used to describe things. The things that are being described are not retarded. They are things. To me there is nothing that is retarded. There are people who suffer from mental retardation. And these people try to live life with disadvantages that those of us who do not suffer from mentally retardation can’t fully appreciate. Disadvantages that are furthered because they are thought of as second class citizens by many. Some of them succeed in life. And some do not. But they all try. What else can they do?

I have been a coach for my local chapter of the Special Olympics for the past 7 years. The Special Olympics provides year round athletic training and competition for people with Mental Retardation. I have spent a lot of time with people with mental retardation in those 7 years. I have gotten to know them. I have come to see what is means to be “retarded”. I have seen these people struggle to get concepts that we take for granted. I have seen people who have been institutionalized their whole lives and don’t even know how to shower themselves. I have taught people to shave for the first time in their lives. Neglect runs rampant amongst these people. Not that they don’t want to take care of themselves but many times it is assumed they can’t. “They are retarded. They can’t do it,” is a common thought. But, in most cases, they can!!!! They want to. They just need someone to help them.

And they are aware. Even when it seems they are not because of their disability. They know what’s going on around them. They hear what you say. They know what you mean. I’ve seen idiots cut on these people right in front of them thinking they didn’t understand because they can’t or don’t choose to speak and then seeing the hurt in the eyes of the mentally retarded person because they understood.

And it is not just the mental retardation these people have to deal with. The conditions that cause their mental retardation also come with a variety of health problems as well. I’ve seen Alzheimer’s disease come and claim these people far before their time. I have watched while uncontrollable seizures wrack these people’s bodies. I known a person whose heart valve was so bad that it literally disintegrated when the surgeon removed it to replace it.

There is one word that kept appearing in the couple of paragraphs above. People. Those with mental retardation are people. They go through the same range of human emotions that people without mental retardation do. They experience both the good emotions and the bad. A common myth about these people is that they are “so open and honest”. That is ridiculous. Yes, they do tend to be brutally honest, at times. But at others, these people lie, cheat, steal, and manipulate like champions. Give some of them a chance and they will use their “situation” to get what they want.

What makes them appear open is they tend to wear their emotions on their sleeves. Typically, you know where you stand with them emotionally. And the emotions tend to be strong and intense. I’ve seen joy expressed that made my heart soar. I’ve seen fury unleashed that made step back in fear. I’ve seen them be as devious as a rogue. I’ve seen disappointment and sadness that makes my heart break. I’ve seen funny things happen that leave my sides hurting from laughing so hard. I’ve seen lust that makes me want to get a hose. And I have seen unbounded love given freely and completely that makes me feel blessed.

Love. That is what it all comes down to. Love. That’s what these people really want. To love and be loved in return. But isn’t that what we all want. I know I do. I’m lucky and I have people around me who love me. And I hope you do too. Some of these people don’t. And they want it so desperately. As much as I am liked as a coach and teacher, I firmly believe I am valued as a friend by them, more highly.

I do love the people I work with. It’s just like any other group of people. No two are the same. Some I am especially fond of. Some get on my nerves. Others constantly amaze me. Still others get themselves in the silliest predicaments. But they all have a place in my heart. And yes, they can’t always do the same things I can do. And yes, sometimes they do things better than I do. They suffer from mental retardation but they are not retarded. They are people.

Until next time...

Posted 11:59 PM by RedSox
The Experiment Continues...

Well, last night was Sock Momma’s birthday party. I still can’t believe no one has really celebrated her birthday since she has been in CT. That blows my mind. Well, she can’t say that anymore.

We had a very nice time. It was nice to Tempest, Jacknife, Jupe, and Bar Queen again. We were also delighted to have Bass Man and Cuddles join the festivities. Sock Momma and he have been dating for over 6 months and I had only met Bass man twice previously. And Cuddles is a dear friend of Sock Momma’s whom we have started to get to know and was a welcomed addition to the party.

It was a really nice time with friends celebrating the birth of someone we all love and wish the best for. The over all theme for the night seemed to be ... silly. Yep, silly pretty much ruled the day. And it started quickly too. The evening began with bar Queen dressed up in drag as his favorite Absolutely Fabulous character. Oh I probably forgot to mention that Absolutely Fabulous is a great favorite of Sock Momma’s so the party theme was Ab Fab. So Bar Queen set the tone with a lovely leather skirt and gold top. Simply smashing sweetie-darling. And it went down hill from there. It was all in good fun and everyone seemed to have a really good time.

Today was Easter and I headed over to Mom’s. We had a nice dinner and had a change to chat for a while. It was a good time.

RANT TIME

Ok so we just sit down for dinner, I mean just sit down, and the doorbell rings. Who could it be. One of my Aunt’s coming by to say hello. Or maybe my sister and the kids. That would be great. Or a family friends. That would be nice too. Oh no!!!!! Nothing that pleasant. It was a God Damned Jehovah's Witness. Now if anyone reading this is Jehovah's Witness, please know that this is not directed at your choice of religion. What it is directed at is a fundamental course in manners. This is one of the MOST holy days of the year to Catholics (which my family is) and Christianity in general. What the hell are you doing going house to house spouting your dogma to people celebrating their own faith. That is just ridiculous. That was one fortunate Jehovah's Witness that my mother answered the door instead of me.

As I said, I don’t have any specific problem with Jehovah's Witnesses per se. I have a problem with organized religions in general but that is a topic for another day. I don’t begrudge anyone choosing the way they want to express their faith. Even if I disagree with it. In fact I’ve had some lively and intellectual debates with Jehovah's Witnesses that I have quite enjoyed. But I firmly and unequivocally ask that if you come to MY door, if I tell you I am not willing to able to talk to you. Go the hell away. I respect you enough not to slam the door in your face and not to chase you away with a shotgun. Please respect me enough to not inflict your beliefs on me when I am busy or just not in the mood to hear your point of view.

END OF RANT

Now I am just kind of hanging out. No Sims this evening. My Sim friends are all taking a night to be with their Real Life families and friends. As it should be.

So I’ve spent the evening picking away at this post, downloading and playing music, and talking with a good friend in IM. A got a couple of solid Joe Jackson songs. Bar Queen’s husband had a DVD of Joe Jackson in concert that we watched last night and I had a couple of tunes trapped in my head. I like Joe Jackson. He is one of those “OH he sings that?” guys. You probably can’t name a song of his off the top of your head (at least I can’t) but when you hear it you are like “What a good song, Joe Jackson sings this?” So I picked up “Steppin’ Out” and “Is She Really Going Out With Him?” tonight. Along with Jackson Browne’s “Somebody’s Baby”, a few Carole King songs, The Dave Clarke Five “Because”, and Elvis with “Don’t”. Not a bad haul.

Oh well, it’s almost midnight and I went to bed at 3:00 AM Sunday morning and was up 5 hours later making lasagna. So I’m feeling pretty beat. I think I’m going to wrap this one up.

Until next time...

Posted 8:21 PM by RedSox
The Experiment Continues...

Well, hello there. It has been a while. A solid month since I put anything out here. Why is that?

Good question. I'm not sure I have a good answer. There are a couple of possible explanations.

One, The Sims On-Line (TSO) has reclaimed me in its addictive powers. I should clarify that. As a game,
TSO quite frankly, sucks!!! It is a rather dull cycle of gaining skills, making money with those skill,
buying stuff with the money, maintaining skills, making more money with those maintained skill, buy more
stuff, etc. However the social aspects of the game are quite addicting. I've met some amazing people out
there. Some of which I feel I have developed real friendships with. They are the reason I go back in every
night. The thing is once you are in there; it is hard to do anything else. In order to keep track of
conversations and stuff you need to pay attention. Even when I am doing the boring stuff like working on
my skills I having a conversation with someone. So the Sims has taken up a lot of my time.

The second and far more primary one is that I had just lost interest in chronicling my life. My life has not
been all that exciting lately. There is a lot going on in it but none of it is all that amusing. And a
prerequisite of me writing here is to amuse myself. Writing post after post about how much work I have
and how many deadlines there are and how difficult it is to keep a already spread thin team's attention on
my project is, is just not amusing to me. It is what I have been living everyday for over a month now.

How is that project going? Well truth be told, it isn't going horribly. Our biggest issue is time. We have
found lots and lots of issues but, hey, that's what testing is all about. That's why we are doing it. The good
news is we have been able to explain and fix every issue we have come across. Where it is getting
stressful is in the fact that starting Monday, we are supposed to be capturing production data and storing up
to apply in May. We will begin on schedule but our testing is just not done. We identified issues as late as
this week. We wanted to run AT LEAST one more test cycle which, we won't have done until tomorrow,
at the earliest. Now the good news is the part of the project that was my direct responsibility has worked
like a charm. Very minimal problems. The data extracts that feed my process on the other hand have been
the main area of problems. Now that is good for me but not good for the project. If we start to accumulate
data starting Monday with faulty extract criteria then we are going to have to re-extract every time we find
a problem going forward. A scary thought.

But if you put a gun up to my head and said sign off or don't. One chance. I would sign off.

What else has happened since I last wrote?

Well I celebrated a birthday. That was fun. RedSox, Mr. Boddington's Pub Ale, and Mr. Tullamore Dew
celebrated the occasion in fine style. At least until I turned into a pumpkin at midnight. Oh man!!! I went
from 60 to 0 in less than 3 seconds. Boogieshoes took one look at me and said, "It's time to go." What
followed was not one of my finer moments. Boogieshoes covered the events that followed in adequate
detail so I won't go into them here. Let's just say it had been a long, long; time since THAT had happened.

Again, not one of my finer moments.

That's not to say I didn't have a good time. I really did. A bunch of folks came out to celebrate with me
and we had a really nice time. I hung in there pretty well until everyone but Jupe had left. That's when
things went downhill in a hurry.

What else happened?

Oh this was pretty cool. I was invited by Ginger to write occasionally on her fine site. I was very happy to
accept and I posted my first thing out there yesterday. I encourage you to go over to her site
http://www.ephemeron.net/ and check it out. I also have it linked on this page under Ginger. My humble
offering is a little piece I called "Just Another Story With No Point" and is something I enjoyed writing.

While you are there, I highly encourage you to read Heather's and Matt's posts as well. As well as look at
Heather's very fine photoblog. Please read Matt's March 30th post titled "Super Rainbow Happyland". Look for it under the Apocrypha Category on the right side of the page. It is a fine piece of writing and it really blew me away when I read it. Matt is very talented and has the same semi-warped (Yes Matt, I am being diplomatic) sense of humor that I have. He has the art of making his point through absurdity down to a science. And Heather has a great sense of fun and a knack for finding interesting things to bring to the table to discuss.

Writing something for a different audience than I write for here was an interesting experience. Here, the
only audience that I always try to entertain is myself. I am here to amuse myself and hopefully in doing so,
I amuse someone else who may read this. For Ginger's site, I tried to actually have a point and tried to lead
up to my ending. It was a nice exercise that I enjoyed doing.

I think the thing that I enjoy most about it is that Ginger's site lets the readers leave comments for each
post. I love getting feedback. I like to see if what I wrote was enjoyed or not. I like to generate
conversation. That is one of the things about my blog here (as it currently stands) that is frustrating. I have
no idea if anyone looks at it. Reads it. Enjoys it. Hates it. Or couldn't care less. I truly enjoy writing it.
And as much I really like most of what I have written here, it is nice to know sometimes that others have
seen my efforts.

So I will occasionally be posting there when a topic hits me that I feel I can write something a little bit
different about. I'm not giving up this site. I still need a place to indulge my petty amusements and
myself. But occasionally when I want to try something a bit more, look for me on Ephemeron.

Until next time... (Hopefully sooner than a month next time)

Posted 12:07 AM by RedSox
The Experiment Continues...

Oh my where to begin. I have so much to talk about. I know it has been a long time since I posted anything. I don’t really have any excuses except that I just haven’t had the time. These little excursions into my brain seem to require a lot of my time to fully develop. My schedule lately has been hell and my Sims addiction is still going strong. So something has to be cut out. And the muscle relaxers I take for my back insist that it isn’t sleep.

Lets start there. My back. I am done with physical therapy. The pain is almost completely gone. I have some occasional bad days but for the most part I feel much better. The weather seems to play a part in how good a day I am going to have. The days of rain and snow we have had last week have made it a rough week.

So, if the back is better, what else could be taking my time? WORK!!!!!!!!!!! Holy crap!!! I have been going nuts at work lately. I got tossed onto 6 interlocking projects that all have due dates between now and 1/1/2004. And what do all these wonderful projects mean? More meetings!!!! Yep. More meetings. My life has become one constant meeting. And if it wasn’t enough that I am starting to spend all day in meetings, they make me drive 2 hours to get to them now. I spent back to back days 2 weeks ago at off-site meetings. On Wednesday morning at 5:30 AM I jumped into my rental car and drove up to New Hampshire. I spent the whole day there in a series of meetings. At 3:30 PM I jumped back in my rental car and headed for home. Then bright and early the next morning I jumped back in a rental car and was driven up to Massachusetts for another all day meeting.

So that was fun. Then the next day, Friday, was a “normal” workday and then came --- Special Olympics Winter Games.

I don’t have the time or the inclination to fully describe the torture that was Winter Games this year other than to say it capped off a “5 days in Hell” stretch for me that left me exhausted.

On the road to Massachusetts I heard something on the radio that made my stomach turn upside down. Mr. Rogers was dead. Mr. Rogers was dead. I was in shock. Mr. Rogers was something that I’d always taken for granted. My kids would grow up watching his show just I had. When he retired it hit me hard enough. Now he was dead.

I don’t know if any of us really understood what he meant to our generation. But I have a story that may help define it.

Mr. Rogers was the keynote speaker at my college graduation. The year was 1991 and 8000 people, graduates, faculty, and families were crowded into the Gample Pavilion at the University of Connecticut. We were going through the tedious ceremony that is graduation exercises. It was a beautiful May day outside and nobody wanted to be sitting there doing this. Though pure luck my buddy Drz and I ended up in the front row of the stands. It was hot and dull.

Then Mr. Rogers came out... And the place exploded. Let me tell you something. I’ve been in that arena for basketball games. Men’s and Women’s. And never ever heard it so loud. The place just went crazy. It was unbelievable. Jaded Liberal Arts majors waving and screaming and just making fools of themselves for a kid’s TV personality. And by now, you may have guessed that I was one of them. Every last one of us there knew who this was and had grown up watching him.

That’s when one of the most vivid moments of my life happened. I remember it like it happened yesterday. I can’t remember even getting my diploma but I remember this. As I said we were sitting right in the front row. Mr. Rogers walked right past us. I waved to him. He pointed to me. And waved back. With that huge sappy Mr. Rogers grin on his face. I turned to Drz and said “Did you see that, Mr. Rogers just waved at me.” He said “Sure RedSox, right at you with all these other people waving behind you.” Maybe he was right but you can’t possibly make me believe that that point and that wave wasn’t for me. I won’t even argue with you about it.

I’ll never forget it.

I wonder if even he realized how much he meant to 30+ years of kids. I bet he didn’t fully understand the impact he made. Well he did. He made an impact on me. Even when I was 22 years old he made an impact on me. He had a rare gift that will probably never be duplicated. Rest in Peace Mr. Rogers. We love you.

****************************************************************************************

Ok, now to wipe away a tear and continue.

****************************************************************************************

I wanted to share something very special with you. I met this amazing young lady on The Sims. At first I paid her no mind until one day I actually talked to her when she needed a person to talk to. To my surprise, I seemed to be able to help her. Not by giving any advice but just by listening. We became friends. She a young lady from the UK and me a jaded 35 year old from the USA. I found out underneath all that youth was a bright and extraordinarily talented young lady.

Well we had a talk one day about dreams. And I’ll be damned if she didn’t make me believe in dreams again. And realize how little I had actually accomplished of mine. Well, our friendship continued. Through twists and turns that plague a young persons life. I was able to be there to listen and share experiences that I had that might help out.

We I was stunned awhile back when this something came into my email. It was a poem. Inspired by me. Yes, that’s right, inspired by me. I read it. And it blew me away. And now I want to share it and introduce you to this talented young lady. I’ve also put a link up to her other poems. I hope that is ok, Lady Z.

My Friend

You have been there for me
Recently on my trip.
You have helped me see
There's nothing like friendship.

You have helped me through
When I have been weak,
When I'm depressed or blue
With no will to speak.

You have been so kind
Shown me the ways,
Helped me unwind
On such stressful days.

I hope I can return
The love you emit.
I hope I can earn,
The trust you commit.

I want to help for them
And not for me,
Because you are my gem
And you've helped me see,

I should give the time
To be a friend so true
Help someone else climb
And love them like you

Because a problem in half
Is a problem shared
On their behalf
It shows someone cared.

Your love and your care,
The way you listen,
It's a talented flair,
It makes you glisten.

I know one day
I will be like you.
Because making a friend
Is succeeding too.

I will love you for ever
Because you are a true friend.
I will forget you never
Until the end.

Lady Z, 23rd February 2003


Until next time...

Posted 9:17 PM by RedSox
The Experiment continues...

I was looking at Blogs today and it struck me that I hadn’t posted anything since January. I wondered about that and asked myself “Why?”. The answer is, “I haven’t the foggiest idea.”

Finding time to write something always seems waaaayyyyy down on the priority list these days.

That being said, it has been an interesting time for me. Work is getting intense and a bit stressful. I realized today that I am working on 6 major projects at once right now. I am being asked to lead 3 of them. It is making my days difficult as I get dragged into meeting after meeting. And anyone who has read a couple of my posts knows how I feel about meetings. Next week should be fun. I need to jump in a rental car next Wednesday morning and haul ass to Manchester, NH where I will be spending a fun filled day designing process flows and doing a monster Gap Analysis. Then, as of right now, I get to drive home that evening. Where I get to have a couple hours of sleep and then turn around and go head back up to Boxboro, MA for a team face to face meeting. Yep, sounds like fun. At least on Thursday a group of us is going so I won’t have to drive. Unless I can convince my boss to spring for a hotel in NH Wednesday and then head over to Boxboro on Thursday. But any way you slice it, old RedSox here is in for one hell of a year.

My back is much improved. The CT Scan I got back at the end of January showed I had a “small herniation of the L5 vertebra with compression on the S1 nerve.” Whatever. All I now if it freaking hurt. I started Physical Therapy a couple of weeks ago and have made tremendous progress. I am almost pain free. This is the first time I’ve ever had an injury like this. I’ve pulled muscles and broken bones but none of it compared to this. The nerve compression not only sent Sciatica pains through my butt and leg it also caused some loss of reflexes and weakening of the Quadricep and Hamstring muscles. So I am doing a pretty serious set of exercises and it is getting better.

So even with the back I have been pulling double Special Olympics duty. I am officially coaching Cross-Country Skiing this year because I needed a break from hockey. But I have also attended all but 2 hockey practices. Including tonight’s. I have come to that realization that I might be an idiot.

I know, some of you out there are saying, “Good Lord RedSox, you are only figuring this out now?” And I would have to agree with you. Hopefully, there are a few of you out there saying, “RedSox, you are NOT an idiot.“ I say to those few, how else can you describe the fact that I am putting Special Olympics above my own personal health? I have only missed one skiing practice and 2 hockey practices. A couple of those practices I could barely even move; yet there I was. I‘m an idiot. And I’ll continue to be an idiot. ‘Tis part of my charm.

So, what else should we talk about today?

Hmm.

Well, the time of torture draws closer. Spring Training has begun. Another season of hope and promise lies ahead of me only to be dashed on the rocks of reality as the dog days of August give way to the stretch run of September. Baseball is an amazing thing. There is nothing more thrilling that that first game of the year. My overall interest in the sport has waned over the years. My passion for my beloved Red Sox never wavers but I don’t follow everything about the game as I did in my youth. But no other sport gets me as jazzed up for the season as baseball does. To understand this, lets start at the end of the season. The World Series. There is really no championship like the World Series. The Super Bowl is a bigger event, but honestly, if you weren’t in the office pool, or hadn’t made another bet on the game, or if there were no clever commercials, would you care? I would because I am a sports nut. But the game loses that without the party atmosphere. The World Series is far more solemn. It feels important. It is seven games. There are twists and turns. Storylines develop. Heroes are made. Villains appear. Careers can be made or broken in the World Series. No matter what else is going on or who is playing, I always make sure I catch as much of the World Series as possible.

As the drama of the World Series ends, and new chapter of the baseball season begins. Hot Stove. Oh this is great and no other sport really has this like baseball does. Free Agents are declared. GM Winter meeting commence. Always a hot bed of signings and trades. Rumors fly about who is signing where and who is being traded to whom. Team needs are debated and addressed. Sport talk shows are awash in proposed trades and why “we” should sign this guy or that guy. Everyone has an opinion. And who is to say who is right. Did Boston not make the playoffs last year because they had weak first base play? Or was is their starting pitching was weak after their top two guys? Or maybe they had a lousy bullpen? So now these needs are worked on. Trades happen, free agents signed. Maybe a new manager or a new GM.

All this change happens and now the debate is did the team improve? Are the Four idiots who still can’t field first base that they picked up going to provide enough offense to make me forgive a few defensive lapses? Is closer by committee going to work? Did they address their starting pitching needs? No one knows until...

Spring Training begins. Now everyone shows up. Some in the shape of their lives, some not so good. Veterans sign on hoping for one more year in the spotlight. Rookies appear, some out of nowhere and start to become the future of the game. Games that don’t mean anything are played. The primary goal in them is to get people into game shape, provide competition for some jobs, and most importantly not have anyone get hurt. But here we go, analyzing these games. Making Rookies who have never seen a real major league breaking ball into the next Ted Williams. The world looks green in Florida and optimism runs high. Are the new guys fitting in, does the aging vet have one more year in him, can someone come back from that injury, or can the rookie phenom actually play when it gets serious. None of these questions get answered until...

Opening Day.

God, I love Opening Day. It is the start of another year. Another chance for immortality. It also means the beginning of the soothing sounds of baseball in the evening coming through the crackles of AM radio. The sound, the unmistakable sound, of a bat striking a ball. Seeing the lights from the local park on late into to evening. It’s a beautiful thing and something so nostalgic.

It’s a shame that the game I loved is killing itself. If I were a fan of the Kansas City Royals I don’t think I would be writing this right now. How must it be to know that you have no shot of winning before the season starts? Well, I know the answer to that. I was a long time Hartford Whaler fan. But that, as they say, is another story.

I honestly think I could go on all night tonight. But this has gotten long enough.

Until next time...